Kurt Edison D'Amour
Enlivening Life with
Story Narratives
It is the heart of apple-picking season in Riverview Heights, and the town is crowded with visitors. The old New England town becomes more lively during autumn and throughout the ski season. As the last town before the mountain road, drivers stop here to rest for the night to prevent ascending the winding mountain in the dark.
As summer comes to an end, detectives are investigating a string of robberies in the North East. The crooks are using the influx of leaf peepers to mask their crimes, stealing from small town museums and bed and breakfasts across New England. They’ve focused on heirlooms and Native American relics, all of which are difficult to assign a value to. The most recent theft occurred last night at the historic bed and breakfast in Riverview Heights, and Nancy is determined to solve the crime before the thief has a chance to leave town.
A sycamore tree in front of the B&B has begun turning orange, matching the mountain. Arriving at the crime scene, Nancy leans her bicycle against the side of the grand Victorian porch. It’s been a particularly wet season, and the chrome on her fenders is caked in muck from summer adventures.
The historic bed and breakfast at the foot of the mountain just celebrated its bicentennial. For two centuries, they’ve collected nicknacks, Indian relics, and feathers from local birds. Black and white photographs line the walls of the local dog sled race, pheasant hunters, and the multiple presidents who have visited the hotel as part of the ski resort, alongside a collection of local bridge paintings.
In the photographs of American presidents Hoover, Harding, and Cleveland standing by the fireplace, a prominent Native American ceremonial urn sits centered on the mantle. The piece features a prominent square shape and a moose beneath it, telling the Native American legend of autumn.
However, this pottery piece has since gone missing. In the fireplace below are the broken parts of wooden snowshoes, with fresh mud - a clue. The burglar must have come from up in the mountains with the year-round snow and broken the snowshoes when they got closer to town.
The song playing over the tabletop radio ends, and the announcer reminds listeners that today is the first day of fall and the autumn equinox. At the beginning of fall, leaf peepers begin to migrate into town. The thief will surely move with them, blending into the caravan of roadtrippers.
Nancy can hardly imagine how much trouble she would be in if she were caught. But it’s the end of a humdrum summer, and she has started on a mystery that can only be solved on the equinox - today, of course. She arrives at the bottom of the chairlift and discovers it is surprisingly easy to switch on the old motor.
The cafetorium is less than ideal, with cafeteria tables with fixed seats attached and a row of ping pong tables pushed up to the bleachers to provide more seating and dining tables for the culinary students to serve.
Captivating Carl makes his debut by stepping out onto the stage from behind his homemade Sword Box of Doom to welcome the audience.
Carl introduces “Emberly, Dale, and the Student Chefs of the Tri-County College Culinary Night School program” with all his mustered enthusiasm and grandeur. Carl quickly realizes how complex this show will be, with the audience bifurcated on either side of him.
Early in his first trick, holding up poster board-sized playing cards, he can pick only one side of the audience to perform to at a time. “Emberly, hold this card high in the air and don’t allow the audience to see it” immediately ends in disaster. The audience behind clearly watches her fold the massive 8 stickers to create a 3 of diamonds. The audience behind begins laughing while the front audience appears amazed.
The lively audience reaction restores Carl’s confidence. He decides to repeat the trick so that the back audience can now see the trick, revealing the secret to the first group.
By the end of the night, the audience is entranced. Somehow Captivating Carl pulled off his best trick: turning his low-budget student magic show into a fantastic magic/comedy/dinner theater show with the help of his friends and the rustic French cooking night at the culinary night school.
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It is the turn of the 19th century and multiple scientists are attempting to provide growing cities with power. Dr Ox, an eccentric chemist, tinkering in a small workshop, has a bright idea. By breaking down water into its elements, Ox can pump hydrogen and oxygen throughout the village. Once it reaches its destination, it can be used to heat homes and factories, converted into artificial lighting, or recombined back into pure, distilled water.
Ox offers to build a novel gas lighting system, at no cost to the town, and his proposal is excitedly approved by the mayor. Ox quickly began the process of running pipes under West Flanders and opening his public utility, the town became incredibly prosperous, and the envy of surrounding villages.
The oxygen and hydrogen must be cooled to a liquid state, able to be pumped through the pipeline labyrinth. As such, the system requires an enormous amount of power to operate. Thankfully, the Ox Engine generates an even more tremendous amount of power than is required in the chilling process.
Ox has invited fellow scientists and investors to the facility for an open house. He is providing the opportunity to franchise the Ox Engine. After buying in, Ox will provide schematics, and help recreate his utility plant in towns across Europe.
Trouble starts when a microfissure develops inside of the Ox Engine, overtaxed with too many franchisees running along the pipes. The Ox Engine fails spectrally, exploding inside the factory. Forcing an abrupt end to the franchisees’ tour, immediately egressing the facility through a dimly lit, flickering hallway. An ironic end to Dr Ox's marvelous experiment.
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The Congregation has hired Ferro Mercenaries to free any bipeds that The Vanios Syndicate has enslaved in asteroid belt mines if they vow allegiance to their Numen Supremum. During orientation, new cadets accidentally warp across the quintants. Emerging in orbit of an exploded mining planet, stabilized by an artificial colloid atmosphere, recruits discover sentient Gox drones attempting to destabilize to colloid. Ferro must work with The Varios Syndicate to eradicate the Gox before they can destroy all lifeforms in the region.
Only made possible by Vantablack's tenebrific, light-absorbing properties, Power Void warps guests into deep space where laser cannons blast Gox drones. The first interactive zero-dark ride can shoot powerful lasers outdoors and indoors, where the tracking dots will be absorbed in the darkness of space. Additional innovations in ride systems, from S&S Free Fly, combine longitudinal spin and unique air suspension to surprise riders with an innovative weightless sensation while barrel rolling yet maintaining a parallel orientation to the ground.
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The humdrum energy brought by the torpid townsfolk of Square City the following spring was overwhelmed by a brief torrent of tawpie coeds at the Homecoming Carnival. In an event now known as Soggy Saturday, returning college kids soaked each other along the parade route, hurling water balloons and blasting bystanders in the process. Shopkeepers gleefully took to the sidewalks, returning fire with hoses. A Water War was officially declared by nightfall when the fire department involved themselves in the shenanigans, reigning in the chaos by raining down on the cavalcade.
Brooke’s dad was always the fun dad growing up. When Brooke told him that Senior Monday would kick off a week of unsanctioned squirt gun fights, Mr. Douglas was all in. He spent the weekend building a custom high-powered soaker for his daughter.
He spent the better part of Senior Week boring out nozzles for his daughter’s soccer team, ensuring they were the best-armed soaker squad.
Since the mayor declared the whole town a splash zone, Mr. Douglas had been the go-to guy for black market battle gear. With a range of defensive and offensive equipment to keep your day dry and your neighbor drenched, Squirt City Armory has supplied townsfolk with the necessities for battle since Soggy Saturday.
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Wrecks on Wecks
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Lagomorphs
Bunny Ears Retail Cart
Listen for the chugga-chugga of the iconic steam wagon the eccentric milliner uses to cruise about town—vending novelty fascinators to onlookers.
Art
Bancaco Dorado
Chorizo & Horchata Quick Service
Where the Britannia Brothers ride, trouble soon follows. The notorious bandits have a history of bank heists and recently hit Bancaco Dorado. Before the smoke could clear, they were already gone, heard shouting, “és or, xata!” (“it’s gold, darling!”)
Greenkeeper’s
Drinks & Refreshments Counter Service
If you find yourself thirsty and far from the clubhouse, Greenkeeper's has you covered. Refreshing beverages and packs of crisps are the pick-me-ups you need to come back from that double bogey.
The Gyrosaurus Dig Site
Gyro & Pita Counter Service
Our scientists tackle the big questions - did dinosaurs have dreams? What did their food taste like? Thanks to a few DNA discoveries and a little lab work, you can find out the answers to one of those for yourself at The Gyrosaurus Dig Site!
Glycerin Bar Soap
Bar & Lounge
During Prohibition, one of the few industries that could legally procure alcohol was the soap industry. In this dry town, the Glycerin Bar Soap Company has found a way to serve suds and launder dirty money, all while keeping the townsfolk squeaky clean.
Brierwyn Forge
Buffalo Chicken Quick Service Restaurant
When the clanks of his hammer stop, the local Ironsmith’s furnace continues to burn bright. His bellows waft the aroma of his sweet and spicy roasting chicken through the feudal hamlet of Brierwyn, drawing townsfolk to his inn for wings and mead.
The Dog Pound
Hotdog Cart
A run in with the dog catcher makes for a bad day. It’s even worse when your captor has a side job selling your favorite treat - hot dogs! Nevertheless, these harmonizing hounds have found a way to pass the time until they’re free to roam once again.
Barbie is on a special island getaway at Barbie’s Dream Resort and Spa – a tropical paradise for guests of all ages to relax, play, and live the dream life. Barbie loves to visit because the flowers are always in bloom, the beachgoers are always friendly, and the sun’s rays are always just outside. As one of Barbie’s best friends, you’re invited to join in the fun. Dream villas give your party the space to party! The Dream Resort offers one, two, and three bedroom villas that accommodate bachelorette parties, mother daughter retreats, and everything in between. The villas have private Jacuzzis, beach access, and tanning decks – a true dream home away from home.
The Aqua Pool is the central gathering point of the Dream Resort. Guests come together to catch up on the day’s activities, plunge off the high dive, relax poolside with one of the resort’s specialty drinks, which always include an umbrella. For a change of pace, head to Mau Loa Restaurant for Hawaiian delicacies like ahi poke, chicken long rice, and even some Spam! You will also be entertained by local storytellers who bring the rich history of the islands to life. Once you have eaten your fill, meet up with Barbie at the Kau’i Spa for a full day of luxurious treatments. Here, in Barbie’s Dream Closet, you can play dress up and try different careers on for size. As the sun sets, grab your friends at dusk and head down to the beach for the Luau, where the shores of Bild Lilli Cove come alive with music, dancing, food, and games around the beach bonfire.
We all know the story of Don Quixote, Hero of La Mancha, “The Last True Knight.” This quixotic hidalgo battles giants, frees slaves and rights the unjust, all in the name of his fair maiden, Dulcinea of El Toboso. Our courageous knight is spirited, regal, slightly deranged, and quite arrogant. He wears old armor, carries a sword and shield, and boasts a great beard. He is accompanied by his loyal squire, Sancho Panza.
After their journeys, the gallant Quixote and his squire returned to La Mancha and the chivalrous knight has since left on a lone quest to honor Dulcinea. Sancho returned to his farmhouse and couldn’t have been more excited to get out of harm’s way. Now safe at home, we rarely find Sancho without a smile. And how could anyone frown when they have a trusty steed like Dapple? The pride and joy of the Panza Farm, this little fellow journeyed with the duo and is ever so glad to be back in his familiar pasture.
Since their return, the villagers frequently come to the farmhouse to hear the tales of their quests. In Panza family tradition, guests are treated to a warm meal for their belly and great stories. With so many friends, Sancho had to borrow tables and chairs from nearly everyone in the village. They are set up in the courtyard and around the millstone inside the windmill. Here, guests can relive the escapades chronicled in murals and the relics Sancho brought back from his adventures.
Sancho has a passion for food and took it upon himself to cook up a menu for his guests, familiar to many, with fresh ingredients and countless variations. So next time you’re in La Mancha, look for the farmhouse, the one with the large windmill. There you will be welcomed with a friendly face to hear the tales of Sancho Panza and Dapple. You’ll be invited to dine on delicious, handcrafted food in a warm, rustic atmosphere.
Enjoy the company of your friends and family, and be inspired to go off on your own adventures. This is Sancho Panza’s passion; this is his story, his adventures, all rolled up into a meal worthy of a traveling knight. This is Sancho Panza’s Burrito.
In the early 1800’s, the villagers of Menda Township told tales of an evil, old witch who lives amongst the strange creatures and knotty, twisted trees outside of the village. Even today, the children of Menda City never venture into the hagridden woods known as The Shadowlands. For an evil witch lurks inside. Proceed only if you dare to discover what truly lies in the shadows.
The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket by Edgar Allan Poe
The Sphinx of Ice or The Mystery of Arthur Gordon Pym by Jules Verne
A Strange Discovery by Charles Romeyn Dake
What was once a budding rest area a few miles off of Rt 71, anchored by a scenic overlook and a series of kitschy displays, has since lost its valor; “The Largest Chair in the World” became specifically a rocking chair and limited to the state. Now the ever-changing qualifiers on the signage can only boast “Home of the Largest Oak Rocking Chair in the County.” A limited few consider themselves locals here, far down Former Route 71, where the state stopped posting mile markers and a bird can safely bathe in the pockmarked asphalt, that is more pothole than tarmac, without the worry of cars interrupting their serenity. Once a motorist finds themselves making the turn onto Spur Road 71A: either intrigued by the aged signboard offering tourist attractions or the official-looking placard claiming that the next rest stop is some 50 miles further down the meandering road, they have already made the decision to exit their vehicle regardless of what the purlieu may offer.
No one sets out to visit the tourist attractions along Spur Road 71A. Nevertheless, many find the day escaping them, spent in a corny nostalgia of roadside distractions, mini-golf, and a twee town without a stoplight. When this happens, the only option is to steer towards a local motel. There are plenty to choose from here and they are far more interesting than the franchise hotels one might find driving ever-further along the interstate. The Welcome Center can help find nearby lodging in an antiquated Auto Club Approved location. The accommodations are always endearing and visitors can usually find good company in the office/lounge at the front of their motel. The next morning, when visitors awake refreshed, they are encouraged to check out the train station which offers scenic area tours to nearby destinations, one last opportunity to enjoy the scenery of a bygone era before venturing back to the highway hustle.
Long considered the epicentre for converging societies, Mediterranean Giardia, has continued to attract the glitterati to the majestic Ligurian Coast. Receiving its name from the many visually offensive disease outbreaks and its world-renown lack of sanitation, Giardia has nevertheless redefined the original meaning of its name, literally using night soil to fertilize the ground in which the townspeople sowed the now-famous orange trees that circle the heart of its historic city centre. Along these illustrious lanes, brimming with restaurants, bars, and couture boutiques, the citrus groves act as a nosegay for the otherwise wretched Giardian odors.
Nestled amongst these sweet scents, the courtyard of One Plaza exudes the romance and culture of a bygone era, preserving the traditions of entitled aristocratic philanderers and their déclassé paramours. Regularly regarded as the prescient for later General Italian-style courtyards, One Plaza features curvaceous archways and authentic Gen-Italia cobblestone. The iconic indigo roofs and Frankish-era limestone architecture combine elegant period foundations with avant-garde details sure to enchant during salacious European rendezvous. The citrous pheromones and resort services of One Plaza provide those lecherously forgathering an escape from prying eyes and malodors.
In the industrial region of Trancoso, English-trained three master brewers set out on a mission to craft delicious, unique, and accessible beer exclusively for the working man [and woman] of Portugal. From the ground up, they built their premier brewhouse; erecting walls, plumbing tanks, and building the community partnerships necessary for success. Upon establishing a relationship with a local cheese factory, the guys were able to source a refrigerated truck and placing the "small conversation piece" inside their building to chill their kegs.
Madrugada Brewing CompanyUntappd
Madrugada Brewing Company
The bottle labels went through many variations trying to create a cohesive family of beer. The voodoo dolls have established themselves as a symbol of the brewery, combining Portuguese folklore and American culture together, socializing in front of beer.
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The Mid-Autumn Festival is a harvest festival celebrated throughout Asia, though most merrymakers reside in China and Vietnam. The date of the festival varies each year based on the lunar calendar and falls between full moons in late September or October. Brightly lit lanterns of all shapes and sizes are placed in the home and throughout towns, strung over streets, in trees, and along buildings. Other lantern-based traditions including floating lanterns down rivers to guides spirits, and writing riddles on lanterns for children to solve.
One of the central figures of the Mid-Autumn Festival is the Jade Rabbit. According to legend, the Rabbit lives on the moon as a companion of the moon goddess. Rabbits, moons, and clouds are depicted throughout the celebration, often as large illuminated figures, painted on lanterns, or as decorations on treats. Participants in the festival also make and share mooncakes, a pastry which can be sweet or savory. Lotus flowers, cockscomb, and apricot blossoms are also exchanged, along with blessings, as a way to give thanks for a fruitful harvest and the opportunity to spend time with family.
Aerostat
Yokels of the High Pass
Dust blows off the hardened soil as the sun beats and not even dead trees give reprieve from the harsh rays. Days on the arid pass are spent scavenging on the dry stone just to survive. Life is very different at this altitude, the Highdwellers travel on canyon winds like rivers; ever-shifting air currents can devastate the community and water and shade are traded like commodities amongst those who have ended up there.
But to live up there, everyone must contribute to the community. It is the responsibility of every Highdweller to track the wind currents while farming the geothermal vents high in the desert mountains. Navigating the skies is dangerous, even for those who have spent their lives at this altitude. When stationed there, be sure to make landfall before the tides shift as an ill wind can leave airships stranded at high altitudes or worse, plummet to the ground below.
Temple of the Wisdom Tooth
A Lost Civilization
Explore the ruins of this odd civilization lost not-too-long ago, where the hallowed temples and tooth statuary of a bizarre kibbutz of dentile outcasts were left to decay in the jungle. Large-scale tooth sculptures lay in various states of erosion, an ironic reminder of the oral blight they sought to prevent.
Hellbent on eradicating the world of gingivitis, a band of dental extremists were exiled from society and established a commune deep in the uncharted jungle. If their outrageous dental views weren't deemed irrational before, they certainly evolved into extremism in isolation. Convinced that the public was not brushing frequently enough, the commune prioritized its work on a series of oversized dioramas to teach their congregation about proper dental hygiene. The group prospered briefly but unsurprisingly did perish; withering away while attempting to spread their enlightenment to families of hippos and crocodiles.
The Federal Gallery
Exhibit of Counterfeit Antiquities
New regulations for creative governmental funding now allow brides to arrive in a tank on their big day or groups to host themed retirement parties in federal prison yards. But one of the more successful revenue streams has been this Gallery of Federal Seizures. This gallery is chock full of counterfeits and replicas.
Because, when the government’s funding runs short, what is the bureau to do except open up their warehouse and showcase highlights of their seized evidence.
No doubt some of the contraband is incredibly convincing, and museum-quality works in their own right, but nothing here is authentic to their perceived artist or period, or made of precious gemstones or metals. Enjoyable on many levels, either for its beauty as art, its faux historic value, and the non-fiction court case it derives from. The investigations are now closed, so feel free to photograph the art and even touch these "historic" relics - you’re not destroying evidence, the statute of limitations have all lapsed, due to a lack of funding that prevented the cases from going to trial.
